Getting Out of the Dip with Laura Wright

Getting Out of the Dip with Laura Wright


Tara Newman: All right, hey Laura, thanks for being with us today.

Laura Wright: Hello.

Tara Newman: Today, I have Laura Wright with me, and she is here because she is a founding member of the BRAVE Society. And her specialty is, is that, she is a sales ninja.

Laura Wright: I am.

Tara Newman: And I thought we would … You know, Laura and I were talking, whenever we get together, we have probably the most fantastic conversations.

Laura Wright: It’s true.

Tara Newman: And we’ve done some things in BRAVE. We did a really great conversation around getting up after a big failure or fall. That was really popular in the BRAVE society. And we have actually, this is the second time you’re on my podcast.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm, yay.

Tara Newman: Because you were on my podcast, we were talking about how to overcome your money objections …

Laura Wright: Very important.

Tara Newman: … before you even get on a call for something you want to buy or anything like that. And today, we’re here to talk about resiliency, specifically when it comes to how it has an impact on your income and your sales. Because as a business owner, your real job title, I was saying to Laura, is commissioned sales person.

Laura Wright: It’s true.

Tara Newman: …for most of us, if we’re not in a larger organization that has a sales team, for most of us, we are solely responsible for the sales and income we are bringing into our business. And what I find a lot, and I am sure that Laura does too, is that it’s not necessarily the doing of the things that creates dips or feast and famine. It’s the energy, your energy that dips, that causes the feast and famine. And there’s practical things that we can do to make sure that we’re protected when our energy ebbs and flows, which it does. We’re human beings. And there are some sort of like, emotional practices that we can do, to maintain our energy. So this is the conversation we’re having today. I’m excited.

Laura Wright: Me, too.

Tara Newman: And where do we want to start this? How about we start this by saying, dips happen.

Laura Wright: Yes, okay. So, I always love to talk about this. We live in the human world. Even if you are perfect, magical, and never have anything happen, you’re probably connected to other human beings and something will happen to them. And P.S., it will also happen to you. So what I like to say for my gals and for myself is, the dips are going to happen. But the difference between someone who is practicing radical self care, like, true energy management who has systems in place and a full, strong business is, when we dip … And I’ve watched myself do this many times in my plans, our dip is like a little tiny dip, and we pop right back up.

And for most folks, when the dip happens, the dip can turn into a deep valley where you go down, down, down, down, down, down, down, and the further you go down in your dip, sometimes the harder or longer it is to get back out of that dip.

So the most important thing is to protect yourself with a support team, taking care of your body, taking care of your mind, taking care of your spirit, so that when the dip happens, not if, when, it is truly just a dip, bloop. And it’s not a drop.

Tara Newman: Yeah, so let’s talk first about some of the practical ways that we can be resilient in our sales process. Because let’s just say okay, I’m gonna give you a perfect example. I’m gonna give you my own personal example that I’m in the middle of right now. Because I’m in the middle of it, I’m not giving full detail. I will give full detail at another time because that’s my practice is to teach from the lesson and not from being in it because that gets confusing.

So nonetheless, there is something going on in my life that is providing distraction.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: Now, this distraction, we can … Distraction for us could be anything. Distraction could be a sick kid. Distraction could be something more serious like maybe, someone is having a prolonged health issue, or …

Laura Wright: Distraction can be something positive, too. It could be like buying a new home or your spouse gets a job opportunity overseas. Distraction comes in many forms.

Tara Newman: There’s another distraction that many of us face is that, we then sell something that now needs to go be delivered. So, we have to take ourselves out of that sales position to some extent, because we have to go deliver what it is that we’ve sold. And then what happens is, we start to feel very wonky because we don’t have our hands on the sales wheel, because we have our hand on the delivery wheel.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: So somewhere in your life, positive or negative, you’re having this distraction which usually then starts to cause a crack in your confidence.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: Some kind of erosion. It could be small, it could be big. It just could be, like, you’re feeling off. For me, you know, my energy starts to dip where I’m like, I can’t … I go into self protection mode. And I can’t people, because I don’t want to put the energy that I’m in … I mean, this could happen, the dip could be that you’re just having a fear moment. You’re in a fear pocket and it could be a blip, but it’s causing you to contract.

So, practically speaking, how can we handle this? What are some of the systems or processes, and I can share some of mine. I want to hear yours and what you see with your clients. What are some of the practical things that we could be setting up in our businesses to help us be resilient in these times of distraction.

Laura Wright: Absolutely. So, thing number one, I call it my CEO schedule. So, I have a schedule that serves and supports me. So when it changes, it’s okay. But 90 percent of the time, we’re attempting to keep it. And what that means is like … I’ll just explain mine, because I think it’s pretty easy. This is not what everyone should do. It’s just the fact that there is a schedule. This structure gives me something solid to rely on when everything else is not solid.

So, Mondays are my day. I focus with my team, my goals, my coaches. I take care of working on the business. I’ve got a space for it. So if something wonky comes up, and it’s meant for working on the business, my goal is to get it into that Monday.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are for private clients. Wednesdays are for my group calls. And Fridays are for my VIP days, or they’re open days. And what’s really important about this too, is that I have a firm start, 10:00 a.m., and I have a hard stop, 4:30 every day. And because I have that structure in place, when something shows up that it’s like 7:30 at night, I can decide if I want to allow it in. I can decide if I don’t want to allow it in. And I’m well supported as long as I maintain that structure as much as possible.

So this really, that supports me like, I think, one of the best things I’ve ever done in my business kind of supports me.

Tara Newman: I do that too. And what that really brought for me, though, is my practice around journaling.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: So one of my non-negotiable rituals or routines, habits, whatever you want to call it, is journaling. And now, what it looks like when it’s a habit is, does it happen every day? Not always. However, it is such an ingrained habit for me, it doesn’t have to happen every day. So, you know like, once you put that habit in place and it’s set it and forget it, if there’s a day that goes by and I consciously choose not to journal, that’s fine. But the habit is always there for me when I need it.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm, yeah. I’ve been following this schedule, this specific one, probably for five years now.

Tara Newman: Yes, yeah, my schedule’s been a long-standing schedule. And my Mondays look like yours. And pretty much, my schedule is very similar to yours as well. But what mine, what my journaling habit allows me to do is, go from being in my mind to getting into action.

Laura Wright: Yes.

Tara Newman: So what I find is, when things start to dip, we get in our heads, when we really need to get out of our heads and into our bodies. And into positive action.

Laura Wright: Yes. That actually leads me to what’s the next structure thing. And what I call it is, I’m gonna call it strong soulful support. And here’s what I actually mean. This is either a coach, a mentor, a colleague, a friend who you can go and speak realness to, and the way they reflect back to you is not honoring where you are, but supporting you in shifting your energy. So for some of that, for some of you, it might look like your coach. I want to be careful when I say friend, colleague, or family because when I’m talking about this type of stuff, this is where I can go to one of my gals and say, “Oh, shit, this thing happened. I need to say it out loud, but here’s what I want you to hear. I don’t need you to do anything.”

Or, I would say, “Here’s what I would love for you to do,” but I’m looking for them to reflect back to me the highest version of Laura so I can step back into that, versus sink with me down into the dip. So, I really love for people to have someone around them or many someones, that when they go and say and share, and like … You journal, I speak. So my process is very similar, but mine is just verbal.

I need somebody I can go just spit it out. I find if I get it out of my head, it stops being real, and I can really see it for fear versus for reality. But the people who I talk to about this, I make certain I don’t speak to anyone who would reflect fear back to me. They reflect back future to me.

Tara Newman: Yes, so based on my situation right now, I have a real strong boundary around friend and family as a no, to go to. Because these are people who … And it’s not that friends and family are a no. It’s that my friend, and I want a different, reference this by colleague versus a friend. I have colleagues who are friends, so these are other coaches who are colleague, versus friends who are just like, my friends, right?

Like, every day human beings, friends, not in the same profession as me. And the reason why they are a no and my family is a no is because they don’t always look at things the same way that I do, which is a value at times, obviously, to have a different perspective. But not when it’s perspective that’s going to operate from a value system that I’m not operating from.

Laura Wright: Correct.

Tara Newman: So, I refuse, I am completely unavailable to operate from fear and anxiety. I am only here to operate from trust and faith, because it saves you money on Xanax.

Laura Wright: And, or, any other substance, yes.

Tara Newman: Yep, and so I have a boundary around if you cannot come to the table with the same values as that, then I can’t have the conversation with you because I can’t go down the rabbit hole of your fear and anxiety about what I’m going through, or how you would approach it from a place of fear and anxiety, when that is not how I would approach it.

Laura Wright: And I also think when you do reach out to somebody, it’s really important to reach out from an empowered stance. I was talking with a client of mine who, she had some craziness going down. And she reached out to me, and she was like, “Hey, some stuff’s going on. I need to talk about it for a minute, and here’s what I want to do. I want to start focusing on what can I do about it.”

And I was like, “Awesome, let’s get going.”

And I had another client who reached out and was like, “Ahhh,” like hair on fire, arms up, freaking flailing. And it was interesting to me because my energy with the client who showed up with the empowered ask was like, “Great, let’s go, let’s do.” And the one who was just in the freaking out moment, and not really willing to get out of it, that felt draining. So I supported the gal who was in the freak out to get to the empowered ask place. And I think that’s the biggest key about getting through the dip quickly, is the moment you actually identify that you’re in the dip making that choice to change it, is the most important thing.

Because I think the dips are going to happen no matter what. And if you are self aware enough to know that you’re in a dip, the moment you identify it is when you need to choose to get out of it, as opposed to languishing in it.

Tara Newman: So, I actually have an example about this from the gym this weekend. And if anybody followed me on my Instagram stories, I probably talked about it there. We’re doing some testing in the gym, and I don’t like the way the testing is going. It’s not making me feel good. And I had to run as one of the tests. And that is my least favorite thing to do ever, and I’m not great at it.

Laura Wright: Ditto.

Tara Newman: And I had to run fast, and it was cold. And I had a full out tantrum, like, tantrum. Not proud of it, but I will admit it, that I had a tantrum. So my dear coach, friend, Jeremy, starts tantruming back at me. He was actually having his own moment about something else, and then so when I was tantruming, he was tantruming back.

So we survived. He almost threw a computer at me, and I was almost crying, but we survived long enough for me to say to him, “Listen, if I’m tantruming, you cannot tantrum too. The both of us can’t be tantruming.”

So when you are looking for support from someone, you have to go to somebody who’s not going to tantrum with you because that is unhelpful.

Laura Wright: Yes.

Tara Newman: You want somebody who’s going to meet your tantrum with some level of calm so that you can relax, and you can find your calm.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm (affirmative), I love that. That’s actually what I like to be for my clients, is that reminder of truth, calm in the storm, a return to your power. And the only way I’m actually able to deliver that is, I have people in my world who do that for me. My husband is a great support with that, where I’ll come downstairs and be like, “I’m in the minute. I just need to say it out loud. It’s crazy.”

And he goes, “Okay, go for it.” And I say it out loud, it’s crazy, and I’m like, “Thanks, I feel better honey.” And he knows how to absorb that.

So I think really understanding who you need to go to, when you need to go to. I think that’s another really important thing. When I have a crazy business thing … My husband and I have a relationship, and we’ve been together with me being inside my business this way for so long that he knows what is really a freak out and what’s having a moment. And there are some things where I need to go to a colleague who’s actually gone through what I’m going through.

So I want you to really pay attention to where you’re in your dip, if it is a personal thing. Find a personal person who gets that. If it’s a business thing, go to a business person who gets it. It’s really about what Tara said of choosing who do you share with.

Tara Newman: Yeah, and I think that what I heard you say set off a bell for me. Because this is about knowing how you operate and what you need.

Laura Wright: Yes, mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: And so, you being … So we’re gonna talk human design for a second.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: You being a manifester, you need to inform decision-making strategy.

Laura Wright: Yes.

Tara Newman: So you told your husband what’s going on and what you need. And there … Between manifesters and manifesting generators, there’s always that need to inform, but that won’t work for everybody.

Laura Wright: Correct.

Tara Newman: Because you might have a design that is not to inform, or don’t have a piece of your design to inform. But for a lot of us, we do have that piece. So check in and say, you know, “When I’m asking for help, is it most helpful to me to inform somebody of what I need, to support me?”

Laura Wright: Yep, and the other side is the respond. I work with a lot of clients who are generators, who are meant to respond. My son is a project who responds. My husband is a informer, but he’s also a projector, which is very interesting. So I know when my husband needs to blow a gasket and … Not like he gets upset or anything, but like, his thing is just, the steam lets out, and he’s great.

My son, if there’s something going on, I need to give him three options, and he chooses the one that serves him. So being mindful of who you go to and how you communicate, and how you need things. Like, if you are in a dip, and you need to respond, go to someone like me who’s an informer and say, “What can I do?”

And then, I can give you three things to do, and you can choose the one that feels good for you. So really get yourself, know what you need, know who’s around you and how to go to, to get what you need.

Tara Newman: Yeah, so I want to switch to kind of like … These are human systems.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm. Let’s talk about sale systems and money systems.

Tara Newman: Yeah, sale systems, because this has actually been really helpful for me in the last week. I went away on this awesome spa getaway with my husband. And sometimes when you go away on vacation, you come back in the dip because you’re like, “Oh, wait, like, what do I do? What’s next?”

Right? You’re kind of a little hazy. Especially if it’s a spa getaway and they’re like, getting that you’re lymph nodes and thing, like you know, you let lymph into the system, the next thing you know, you don’t even know what day it is.

To my husband having an emergency appendectomy.

Laura Wright: Yeah, thank God he’s okay.

Tara Newman: To my cess pool going, and because the cleaning people were flushing cleaning wipes down my toilet so it clogged things. So as he’s on the phone trying to get himself in for a CT Scan, our bathroom is covered in water. And the plumber, it was chaos.

And then, we have some other things mixed in, right? So I’ve essentially … I mean, this could be anything. At the end of the year, my Mom had a stroke, and I had to be out of my business. All these things could be potentially impacting my ability to show up as the commissioned sales person that I am, but it hasn’t because of things like having a team.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm, huge.

Tara Newman: And while they’re not technically a sales team, they can handle inquiries and keep things going that allow me to be asking for the sale every day. So stuff going out on social media that’s promoting something that I have going on. Like, people making inquiries and then responding. Just knowing that I’m supported and that I don’t have to do everything so I can conserve my energy for the most important tasks in my business which are revenue generating.

Laura Wright: Bingo.

Tara Newman: Having a podcast that’s been batched and going out weekly to generate leads. Having emails that go out weekly to engage with my amazing clients and customers.

Laura Wright: Okay, so I want to talk about all the systems for making money. And the first thing I want to say is, relax.

Tara Newman: Mm-hmm.

Laura Wright: No matter where you are on what you have in place, the most important thing is to pick the one thing to focus on, get it in place, and once it’s in place you pick the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. Because one of the things that Tara and I both have inside of our business is, we do have team. We do have consistent marketing. We do have consistent outreach, consistent sales, all these things that are consistently flowing.

Tara Newman: Yes, the time to have these things done and consistently flowing is not the moment you hit the dip.

Laura Wright: Bingo. And so, how do you protect yourself from the dip? So I’m gonna almost go in order, because this is the game changer. Thing number one that I always recommend to my clients is, stabilizing long term, consistent income. And what that …

Tara Newman: Oh, yeah, that’s a good one.

Laura Wright: Yeah, this is one of those like, duh. And also, yes, Laura, I wish I had this. But this is the easiest solve in your business, and gives you the most strength. The first thing I recommend is, that my clients come up with a high ticket offer. And high ticket doesn’t have … for some people, it’s a thousand dollars. For some people, it’s 27 thousand. For some people, it’s a hundred thousand. But whatever your high ticket dollar is, and we get one, two, three, five, 12, doesn’t matter the number. But we get a handful of clients at a high ticket, long term, consistent revenue.

With a lot of my clients, that looks like for is six month, one on one clients. Or 12 month, one on ones, or filling a Mastermind with five or eight people where there is a baseline of consistent income that is gonna go longer than six months so that you have that in place. So, if you don’t already have consistent, long term, high ticket income in place, that is the first place you should put all of your focus to.

Tara Newman: So what this looks like is, because I’ve been doing this for a few years. If you’re listening to this and you’re somehow in year one or year two, or you haven’t done this up to now, this is just gonna take a little time to get into place. But for the last three years, I’ve been able to very easily predict my annual income because in December … So for me and my business, it goes on the calendar year. Because in December, I have booked in at least 50 percent of my annual revenue before the year even starts. So, that’s a metric in my business.

Laura Wright: I did the same.

Tara Newman: … it’s a metric in my client’s businesses, and that is something that we start talking about in the last quarter of the year because Q4 is not about the current year anymore. Q4 is about the next year. And so, what’s that number that you have booked in by January 1st, or even January 31st, that can help you with some predictability.

Laura Wright: Yep, that’s key. And here’s the other thing I want you to think again. It doesn’t matter where you are inside of your business. Bringing on one high end client can change everything. I remember years back, the price I was selling at the time was about $500 a month for my private work. And this was many, many years ago. And I had a coach who said to me, because I was exhausted. And I had a ton of clients, but I didn’t have as much cash as I wanted.

And she’s like, “Laura, if it’s five clients gets you $2,500, what if you had one client hand you $2,500 instead of those five? What could you give to that one person? How much energy could you pour into them, the goodness you could give them?”

Laura Wright: And so I went out and I’m sad to say, I did not sell a $2,500 a month client. But I sold a $2,000 a month client. And with that energy, I released a couple of the $500 a months, and all of a sudden, everything lifted up. I had more time and more energy. And that $2,000 a month client was thriving. And I shifted everything from there.

So I want you guys to see how you can turn high level clients and high ticket clients into a baseline. Once you have that in place …

Tara Newman: Mm-hmm, I do want to jump in here, because I know that some people are sitting here going, “Yeah, but …” The resistance is creeping in. And some of their resistance is creeping in around something that I see with my clients, and that’s like, “Yeah, but Tara, you’re selling to business owners.” So, yeah, but Laura, you’re selling to business owners.

First of all, business owners are the most stretched and strapped people known to man.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: So you think it’s all fun and games selling to business owners, a business service. It is not. Secondly, I have a client who just went from … When we started working together, the most that she’d ever sold anything for was probably around 3,000 dollars, 3,500 dollars. That was her biggest package. She just sold somebody over an 18,000 dollar package, and she is not selling business services.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: She’s not selling business services.

Laura Wright: Yep, I always like to tell the story of the birth coach that I hired. She was not selling me a return on investment of money, but she was selling me on a return on investment of quality of life and literally, enjoying the experience of bringing our son into the world. So I want for you guys to see that the way you sell, the return on investment that you’re supporting your clients and receiving is unique to them. That doesn’t actually mean money.

The return on investment can be intangible, and you can sell high ticket to anyone for anything because what you’re selling is based on results and value. And when again, I say those words, results and value, I don’t want you to freak out and think, “I gotta get my clients results.”

What I actually mean is that they get from their pain and their struggle to their vision. That is the result. The what those pieces are, that can be different for anyone. And please hear me clearly when I say that’s just gonna be selling web design, sandwiches, coaching services, physical therapy, like, anything that you can sell has a personal return on investment to the person who’s buying it.

Tara Newman: Very much so. I would just encourage everybody to go look and see how they consume.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: And what holds value to them versus what doesn’t hold value to them, and what they’re willing to pay for something that has incredible value to them. And do some of your own homework within your own buying psychology.

Laura Wright: Oh, abso-freaking-lutely. Like, we have two line items in my household budget that one, I’m like, “Okay, you know where our value is.” And the other one was a conscious choice. So one is whole foods. I need to buy some stock in Whole Foods, because the amount of money we spend there on a weekly basis, the first time we really looked at our budget for food, I was like, “Holy shit.”

But here’s the thing what’s really important to us. My husband was a chef, and so we eat really well. And it’s really important for us to have whole foods. Like, not just whole foods, but whole things that he cooks that are organic. So when you look at what’s important to us, you can see that our grocery budget is high up there.

The second thing we have is an Amazon budget. And our Amazon budget, I still remember sitting down with my CFO about this. There were just like, all these little purchases, all the time. And I’m like, “Is my husband addicted to Amazon? Maybe.” And then we realized something. For him to know that our little thing in the bathroom that holds the toothbrushes, it broke. And so, he just went and bought another one. We didn’t have to think about it. So we decided in my life, instead of having him curb those little purchases, they really give to our life experience, so we just created a budget for it.

And I don’t remember why I just went down that tangent, but what I want you guys to hear is, what’s important to … That’s what it was, what’s important to you is important to you. You don’t have to actually change it, and people will pay for the things that are important to them. So you want to get in front of your ideal clients and give them what is important to them.

Tara Newman: All right, what’s another system to help with sales resiliency if somebody is in the dip?

Laura Wright: Okay, this is my favorite, favorite thing to do. So, if you are in the dip and your energy feels totally off, what I want you to do is, have a list of things that you can do, that shift your energy. Like, playing some music and dancing, going and taking a walk, taking a bath, snuggling with your kiddo, snuggling with your dog, getting a hug and kiss from a friend or a family member. Some activity that raises your frequency. And the moment your frequency is raised, I want you to sit down and do some outreach.

Outreach is you reaching out to new connections and inviting them for a call. People you’ve known in the past that you’re gonna ask for a referral. People you’ve known in the past who’ve worked with you, that you’re gonna get on a call and reconnect with them. What’s really important is that you don’t go from a place of, “Oh, shit, what do I do?” And try to go type and connect with people and freak out and be in desperation. Because desperate energy will attract desperate people.

It’s first activity, and I do this all the time. Whenever I’m concerned about sales, or if I’m in a dip or anything, I shift my energy. It’s a two step process. Shift my energy, and even if it is just for a minute or two, jumping jacks, high vibe, something. And then, I reach out to people.

I will say this, my natural survival instinct is when I’m afraid or things are scary or something’s bad going on, I go and sell. So I know that this is just a skill that I can affect and act. But I also know it can be a weakness, because if I’m freaked out, I’ll go sell. And sometimes, what I need to do is change. So I just inserted shift your energy first, and then from that clean and clear, almost even neutral place, then you go do your outreach.

Outreach is that thing where, if I need to make a sale today, I can make a sale today. That I never have to worry about if I have leads coming in or I don’t, it’s my being in charge. And P.S., you don’t have to do outreach one time scramble that gets you feast and famine. What I like to do is, put outreach into a consistent flow.

So once a week or twice a week, I’m doing a little outreach activity. Because I guess it was the beginning of what Tara and I were talking about is, you want to have a lot of things in place so that when the dip happens, it’s not crushing to you. So I would get all of these techniques that you would use in a dip into a regular, consistent flow for yourself.

Tara Newman: Yeah, so when this is in a regular and consistent flow for yourself, it actually offers you a lot of buffer because if you’re consistently outreaching and open to meeting new and inspiring people and connecting, you will most likely already have things on your calendar for the days you’re in a dip.

Laura Wright: Yep.

Tara Newman: So you don’t have to go out and create any more outreach opportunities. You can just take advantage of the ones that you have on your calendar. And maybe outreach to people who you’ve already had connections with when you’re in the dip because it’s always easier to connect with somebody that you already have a relationship with. That’s a good time to follow up with people who you haven’t heard from in a long time because it takes less energy output to reconnect than it does to connect, in my opinion.

Laura Wright: I agree with you. And also, here’s what I want you to hear. And I have done this so many times. I like to prove things to myself occasionally. I can start doing outreach, and I’ll pick people that I don’t think there’s any reason for them to buy for me. I’m not actually trying to sell anything to them. They’re like, colleagues or friends, or some … And when I say the word friends, I mean, like, online, in my industry friends.

I will purpose reach out for them and get them on my calendar to talk to. And then out of the blue from the other direction will come a referral. And why this happens is because the energy that I’m putting out is care, love, service, attention. And I’m showing the universe I desire more clients. And then, the universe can provide for me in whatever direction it needs to. It’s really about being in progress and forward motion.

Because when you’re in a dip, what you actually are doing is, you’re stopping, you’re blocking your ethereal energy. And when you move up into the energy of faith and action and aligned action and activity, that’s when all the stuff starts to flow to you again.

Tara Newman: Yeah, you know, it’s funny, people say when you’re in a specific, like, if you’re in a low space or something like that, you know, “Don’t make any decisions.” But I actually like to make decisions when I’m in that space because the energy of deciding pulls me out of the dip. So even if it’s decisions that really don’t have a major impact, I like to decide and to get things off my plate in those times because it frees up my energy, and I get to really capitalize on that energy of deciding that something is going to happen.

Laura Wright: That’s actually also a really important thing is, little things can make a big shift. So when you are in the dip, I’m not tell you to go reach out to 27,000 people.

Tara Newman: No, one person.

Laura Wright: Yeah, one. One outreach can shift everything. And if I’m feeling crazy, fearful, or something is happening, I’ll reach out to like, four people. It’s just stacking the deck in your favor as opposed to being attached to that one person that you need to respond.

Tara Newman: So, I think the other thing that chips away at people’s confidence a bit when they’re in spaces like this is, either they’re in a dip because they’ve been rejected. They’ve heard no. Or they’re afraid they’re gonna hear a no. So how, from a sales perspective, can we flip out of that place where like, “Oh my God, everybody said no.” I mean, I’ve gotten shit tons of no’s at times. It doesn’t feel great.

Laura Wright: Nope.

Tara Newman: However, I also know that yes comes through no.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm (affirmative). So number one, I like to say don’t stack your no’s. And here’s what I mean by that. When I get a no, and yes, I get no’s. It happens. Not very often. Sorry, but it doesn’t, because I’m meeting with a lot of people. But when I do get a no, and yeah, sometimes the no is from me. When I’m on a sales conversation, I really need to show up and decide, do I want to work with the person. But what I do is, I address the no when it happens. And I’ve had a lot of clients who came my way who were like, “I just had 35 no’s in a row.” Or, “Seventeen no’s in a row.”

Laura Wright: And I’m like, “Stop. You’re gathering evidence for more no’s showing up.” So I look at when the no shows up, what just actually happened. And I do kind of a little deconstruct of what just happened. Did I want to work with them? Yes or no. Were they aligned to me? Did I do my best? Did I miss something? Were they off?

Like, I just asses what just actually happened. It wasn’t just a no. And I learn from it, and then I literally set it down. And I’ll go do something different and shift my energy. So every single no that I receive is an individual experience. And I learn from it, and I set it down. So, I don’t stack the no’s.

And then the second thing is, I keep an evidence list of how everything always works out. And what’s really, really important about this is, this has me feeling detached from if I’m talking to someone, do they need to say yes? And again, if you are feeling that feeling, like, “I’ve just had a lot of no’s.” I’ll go look at my calendar, and if I’ve got two or three sales calls coming up, and I’m concerned that I just had a bunch of no’s, the way that I’ll chill myself out is, I’ll go do a little outreach and I’ll put one more sales call on my calendar. Even if it’s a connection call. Just so I buffer the odds.

I put myself in a relaxed space so I can see that it doesn’t matter what they buy or who buys, I have enough people around me to potentially do that. So, if you’re in that zone, I want for you to shift how you’re feeling also by seeing who said yes to you in the past. And it doesn’t have to be in this business. It doesn’t even have to be inside of business.

Like, here’s a sales win. Getting your kid to get dressed. Holy bejesus, like, getting my kid to zip up his jacket and put his hoodie on, and then put his winter coat on this morning when it’s like 10 degrees outside, that was a sales win. So I want you to see how you have your sales wins all the time, all around you.

Tara Newman: Yeah, look for the overwhelming evidence that everything is working out in your favor.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Tara Newman: Because when we’re in the dip and we’re not looking at things through the lens, it’s easy for us to see things through what’s wrong and the wrong lens, and not the objective in how we analyze the situation.

Laura Wright: Yep.

Tara Newman: We’re not an objective observer of our lives when we’re kind of you know, in that dip where we need to be picking ourselves back up again.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm, I also, I want to bring in a longer look. There’s a quote that basically says if … And I’m gonna get it totally wrong, but it’s the five by five rule. Like, if someone thinks not going to be … Like, if something happens and it’s not going to be important to you in five years, give it five minutes or less. That’s the boil down of the thing. So what I like to look at is, if I am in a sales dip or a client’s in a sales dip, some of the most natural responses are, “Can I get out of it right now?”

And what I actually like to have someone see is, like, let’s actually look at the next 90 days instead of just the next 30 days, because when we put this high pressure on, “I gotta fix it right this second,” it crunches down on everything. If you give yourself more of a 60 day window or a 45 day window, anything longer than what you initially think, it can just soften how you need to get there, as opposed to you being in, “It’s gotta happen.”

And here’s what I always know, things happen faster and slower than you anticipate. The things that you think will speed up, sometimes goes slower. The slow … Like, Tara, you’re having an amazing experience of quick pace with a dip right now. And I just want to reflect that back again to you, because the things that you think can take a long time can take shorter.

Tara Newman: Yeah, yeah, I also … You know, I really want to say too that I truly believe, and this is something that serves me really well. And I know that you probably believe this as well is, I believe that I am the creator of everything that is here in my life. I create everything for me.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: Whether it’s a positive or a negative experience, and so anytime that something like this comes up for me, one of my first questions is, “How is this here for me?” And that helps me move through it really quickly, because then, I can really see what the lesson is that I’m meant to take away. What the opportunity is for me in this moment, and how have I created or why have I created the situation that I did?

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: And a lot of times, you know, are we creating these situations to sabotage ourselves?

Laura Wright: Yep, I still remember one of the greatest gifts that ever happened to me is, many, many years back, and you might have shared this one on a previous podcast. It might have been on one of the panel things for BRAVE which was freaking amazing, is in 2008, real estate disaster, like, losing everything. And what I found myself back in again is in 2013, I believe, yeah. Maybe ’14, we retired my husband, and I had an opportunity for a pattern to show up again. In 2008, he went back to school and then my business collapsed.

In 2014, we released him from his job, and all of a sudden, I hit this massive dip in my business. And I had this freak out moment, I’m like, “Is this happening again?” It was like, in the same timing. And I’m like, “What? What?” And the gift that it gave me was, I got to choose to never let this happen again. And I changed how I felt, how I was showing up, what I was doing, so that this action can never happen to me.

So I think if you ever find yourself in a dip, look around it for a minute and decide, is this a pattern? Do you want to shift it? And put yourself back in creator mode. Everything is being … You are calling it into your life, and that is like the … When I figured that out, that just gave me the best gift in the world.

First time I heard like, you’re a thousand percent responsible for everything that’s showing up. I’m like, “Yes,” like, “I’m the one that’s making this … No, I don’t like it.” And then I went, “Wait a minute. If I’m making this happen, I can make something else happen.” And that energy is just delightful.

Tara Newman: Yeah, so I think we’re gonna wrap it up here. But and this is a really great place to wrap it up, where you can start … because I always like to give one thing that people can take away from these episodes and take action on. But if you’re in a dip right now, or if you become in that place, I mean, listen, it’s normal and natural to have these moments. I mean, I named in the beginning of this episode all the things, and that was just off the top of my head that could happen to create distraction in your business that allows things to feel like they’re slipping potentially.

Now, if the one thing you do is, you leave this conversation and you refrain how you look at the distraction, being it’s a distraction, it’s here to harm me. It’s here to uproot things. It’s here to make things feel unsettled to how is this an opportunity for me to stand back up again?

You know, this last week has taught me that I was actually missing adversity in my life. Things were going too well. And that I was not learning or not shifting some of the deeper lessons in learnings that I could have, without having more friction or tension in my life right now. And so, I created the opportunity for adversity. Did I cause my husband to have an appendectomy? That’s not what I’m saying.

Laura Wright: Right.

Tara Newman: But that was here for me to have a pivotal lesson that I needed to learn that will help me build upon the things that I want to create in 2019. So how can you really shift from, “Oh my God, this is happening to me,” to “How amazing, I’m so grateful that this is happening for me, and look at this amazing opportunity I have.” And, “How can our lives become even better by experiencing this,” and really get yourself into a place of positivity.

And you may have to fake this one for a little bit. And I am an anti fake it till you make it girl. You will most likely say faking it till you make it does not work, except when it comes to mindset.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: Because if you just keep repeating the thing, even though you don’t believe it, one day it will be what you believe.

Laura Wright: Yeah. I like to say putting your Wonder Woman costume on. There are some days that I have clothing that I put on that shifts my energy. And it is, I need a physical thing that I put on that tells me, “Today, show up as Wonder Woman.” And when I put that on, I start to do it. And it lifts me up. So I totally am on the same page with you with the fake it till you make it.

What I like to do is, find a something that sparks that real feeling you have inside of you. Because we have inside of us that creator command place that can choose and create the life and business we desire. And sometimes, we need an outside spark to get it going. So I like to tell my gals, “Get your Wonder Woman costume on. It’s time to get dressed so you can show up and be that person.” Change happens from within. It’s so freaking cliché, but it is the easiest thing to do.

Tara Newman: You know, I think one piece that people sometimes miss when they talk about mindset, and I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention it here, so that’s why I’m popping it in, is you have to be able to feel things.

Laura Wright: Mm-hmm.

Tara Newman: It’s not when you think it that it changes. It’s when you feel it that it changes.

Laura Wright: Yep.

Tara Newman: And a lot of times, this adversity is here for us to evoke a feeling one way or the other, for us to step out of and into another feeling. So adversity comes, wow, I don’t like feeling this way. This is too much fear. I don’t like this. I want to step into trust and faith and out of fear.

So, it’s here to evoke a level of feeling that sometimes we can’t access on an everyday basis.

Laura Wright: Yeah, I freaking love that. Tara, this was a great conversation.

Tara Newman: I know, thank you so much for coming on. And I can’t wait to have you back.

Laura Wright: I know, anytime. You call on me, I love doing these. I love the connections with you. I love serving and supporting others. It’s just a delight.

Tara Newman: Thank you so much, Laura.

I often share lessons learned on this podcast, it’s one of my favorite things to be able to share.  I’m able to do that because of a commitment to radical self-reflection I have with myself.

This commitment means that every week I am looking at what is happening my business and in my life, the good, the bad, and the occasionally ugly. Doing that work allows me to look at my months, and even my years with real data, even for the less tangible parts of my life.

I call these weekly meetings CEO Debriefs, and twice per month inside The BRAVE Society we do them together. I pulled together some of the highlights from CEO Debriefs I’ve done inside BRAVE and I’m sharing the best of the best with you. You might have heard a couple on this podcast, but I want you to take it a step further and feel what doing this with us in BRAVE feels like.

So head to the show notes and sign up now to receive 10 CEO Debrief questions I want you to ask yourself, plus listen in on some of the most popular shares I’ve made. Listening to someone else debrief is a great way to bring up things you didn’t realize were there or ask questions you don’t always think to ask yourself.

If you have found this podcast valuable, help us develop more bold leaders in the world by sharing this episode with your friends, colleagues and other bold leaders.

Also, if you haven’t done so already, please leave a review. I consider reviews podcast currency and it’s the ONE thing you can do to help us out here at The Bold Leadership Revolution HQ.  We would be so grateful for it.

Special thanks go to Stacey Harris of Uncommonly More, she and her team are the producer and editor of this podcast. Go check them out for all your digital marketing and content creation needs.

Be sure to tune into our next episode to help you embrace your ambition and leave the grind behind.

Important links to share:

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