Hey, hey Bold Leaders. Welcome to The Bold Leadership Revolution Podcast.
I’m your host Tara Newman and I have a passion for helping everyday humans perform in extraordinary ways. This is the place where we dish on everything from mental toughness to emotional wellbeing and what it takes to really perform your best at a high level. We are here to help you embrace your ambition and leave that grind behind.
When I’m working with business owners and CEO’s responsible for teams, I always get the same question: How do I hold people accountable without being an asshole? Yes, that question, exactly.
Why do we associate holding people accountable and being an asshole on the same level?
My entire job is about holding people accountable for the essential, life-changing transformation they want for themselves and I don’t think I’m an asshole. As a matter of fact, I think I’m pretty darn awesome.
When I speak to business owners at any level and I ask what they are looking to get out of our time together, they say accountability.
According to the dictionary accountability means to answer or to be held responsible.
In theory, we hold ourselves accountable and for everyday tasks and goals that usually works.
I find where the rubber meets the road is when you need to be accountable for taking your boldest action. Stepping outside your comfort zone and leaning into your edge, consistently.
Even the most high performing of us will wriggle out of doing the truly uncomfortable because we are HUMAN BEINGS trying to do extraordinary and superhuman things.
There is a quote attributed to Les Brown that says:
“To be successful, you must be willing to do the things today others won’t do in order to have the things tomorrow others won’t have.”
And I completely disagree with this. You must be willing to do the things you are UNWILLING to do.
For a month I have felt sore and achy from my workouts. I knew that going for cryotherapy would help me greatly and reduce the inflammation that is likely causing the issue. But I don’t want to put myself in a tank for 3 minutes at minus 200 degrees fahrenheit.
I was UNWILLING to do that even though I knew it would get me the results I was looking for. Finally, after much avoidance, I went. I did what I was unwilling to do to get the results I truly desire for myself.
Accountability is important for us to stretch and grow. Most important though is accountability builds trust — both internal with self and external with others.
Accountability ensures you do what you said you would do.
Sounds pretty simple, right? No need to be an asshole or feel like an asshole. So then why all the struggle with accountability? Because the problem you think you have isn’t the actual problem. It’s not that people are struggling with accountability, they are struggling with behavior change!
You set a goal, map out actions, stretch and challenge yourself to become the person who meets that big hairy audacious goal. The middle gets messy because that’s where the growth is happening.
Changing the way we work, think, act, and show up in the world isn’t always easy.
However, when we make accountability of high importance by either asking someone to hold us accountable, hiring a coach to help us change our behaviors or participate in a mastermind where a set of your peers are experiencing similar — you increase your ability to get those extraordinary results you want.
Not everyone is well suited to holding themselves accountable. Accountability comes from having a system and structure for self-check ins. Yet people often don’t want to get to know themselves on this intimate level.
Accountability takes time and often people resist this by saying they’re too busy.
Accountability for behavior change takes work and we’re a culture addicted to the wrong kind of work.
Accountability requires a different level of compassion and communication which I why I think people wind up feeling like assholes. The best way to approach holding others accountable is by thinking how you like to be held accountable. What works for you? What makes you feel open to taking the risks you need to meet the goal? What shuts you down and gets you digging your heels in? Chances are you’re pretty normal and other people would feel the same way.
Before we hold others accountable, it’s important that we make sure we are being held accountable or else the energy for accountability won’t be maintained.
Now, I want to share a few ways that I can help YOU stay accountable for making that big impact you want.
- Listen to this podcast each week and then head over to Instagram. Post your takeaways and one action you will take from this episode. Tag me I’m @thetaranewman
- Sign up for my free 5 day training that will hold you accountable to answering the toughest question that faces all leaders “what’s next?”
- If you’re a woman business owner, I invite you to join The BRAVE Society where we have lots of opportunities to stay accountable like our bi-weekly CEO Debriefs or our monthly panel discussions.
- Join my 2019 Bold Leadership Mastermind where me and an intimate group of your peers will hold you accountable for becoming the person you need to be to lead at your highest level. Space is limited so I encourage you to apply to find out more as soon as possible.
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Special thanks go to The Stacey Harris who is the producer and editor of this podcast. Go check them out for all your digital marketing and content creation needs.
Be sure to tune into our next episode to help you embrace your ambition and leave the grind behind.
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