Last week we talked about goals, and this week we are going to talk about fear, because you can’t talk about one without the other being present.
When we set goals it’s natural for fear to show up.
As a matter of fact, if you set a goal and don’t feel fear let that be a litmus test that perhaps you picked the wrong goal.
The purpose of a goal is to grow and stretch you so you learn something new, evolve as a human, challenge beliefs you had about yourself and the world around you.
This isn’t comfortable stuff.
When we set goals it’s natural for fear to show up AND it’s natural to bypass that fear in the excitement of setting a new goal.
Many people don’t even realize the thing standing between where they are and where they want to go IS fear.
Business owners think it’s another strategy.
It’s not.
It’s fear of the unknown
Fear of uncertainty
Fear of failure
Fear that you will put in all this work and you won’t achieve the goal
Fear that you’ll be discouraged and give up
Fear that no matter how hard you try it won’t be enough
Fear that you will never know what’s truly possible for you
Fear that you won’t know what to do or how to handle something
Fear around asking for and/or receiving help
Fear of being consistent or committing to something longer term
Or all the fear that comes with actually succeeding…
Fear that if you succeed and grow that you will leave people behind.
That you won’t be loveable any more
That you will mess up and lose everything you worked so hard for
Fear that it was a fluke and you had it once but never again.
Fear that if you succeed, more people will want something from you.
More success equals more work which equals burnout.
Honestly, the list is endless. And the only reason I can list them like this is because I have experienced them all.
The only way for the fear to become more palatable so it dissipates enough for you to take action anyway is to continue to shine a spotlight on it.
There is no magic pill.
You aren’t a shameful embarrassment of a business owner.
You aren’t a failure because you are afraid.
You are HUMAN.
You are a human who needs a daily process for navigating the shit you are trying to stuff down, because stuffing this down will only result in wasted time and effort in trying to achieve a goal where there is so much resistance below the surface.
Having a daily process can be as simple as listing what fears you are feeling that day. Particularly what fear you are feeling around a specific goal.
This is the beauty of a journal – it’s a private conversation between you and yourself.
Seeing your fears listed in front of you will help you gain insight into what’s really going on and take the next best steps.
What if instead of locking your fear away, you let it guide you?
- Guide you to sharing them with other like-minded business friends.
- Sharing them with your partner or your team.
- Hiring someone to walk beside you as you take your business to the next level – you don’t have to hold that fear alone.
- Join a program that lets you talk about your fear and the things that scare you about success without bypassing it and sending you straight to affirmations, or telling you that it’s your mindset that makes you feel bad in any way for having a very human experience.
Give yourself grace and self-compassion.
(You can visit the website Selfcompassion.org by Dr. Kristen Neff).
Or maybe it’s hiring a therapist to move past things that have been with you a long time. Or if it’s trauma-related, seek other modalities to help with trauma like EMDR.
I know so many of you want to achieve big things, do your most fulfilling work, make a significant financial contribution to your life and the world.
And I know many of you want this NOW.
This very minute.
And you’re equal parts eager and frustrated that it’s not happening quick enough.
If you want to speed things up, look no further than your daily fear list.
Thanks for taking the time to listen today. I hope this has been helpful. Please know I believe that small business owners have the power to change the world. Take good care.
